The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

·         What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression, or witnessed someone else as the target of bias, prejudice, and/or oppression? Keep in mind that one can encounter such incidents in real contexts, including online environments, as well as in fictional ones, such as movies, books, television shows, and the like.

Prejudice is an experience that anyone who has encountered, probably wants to forget.  I can recall a time that my husband and I were shopping for jewelry in our casual clothes in the mall.  We weren’t wearing no observable high end brands and we were young.  When we entered the jewelry store, the employees saw us enter, but didn’t greet us.  So we began looking at the jewelry when another couple entered the store.  This couple was dressed up quite nicely as if they were on their way to a fancy dinner.  The employees seem to race to greet them.  They offered to clean the couple’s rings while they shopped.  They were shown the latest in the type of jewelry they were shopping for while we were never even greeted.  My husband told me that they didn’t approach us because we appeared to have no money while the other couple seemed to have plenty proving they would be more serious about purchasing additional high end jewelry.  Because of how we were ignored we chose to take our business elsewhere, but before we left my husband approached the employee at the counter and told him that they just missed out on the sale of our wedding rings.  This is really a minor prejudice compared to many other experiences but I wanted to point this one out because sometimes prejudice occurs when you least expect it and in all forms. 

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   In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity?

This prejudice that my husband and I experienced made me realize that it can be seen in many forms and experienced by many. 

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What feelings did this incident bring up for you?

I felt angry and hurt.  I couldn’t understand what I had wrong.  I really do not like when people assume something about me when they have no idea.

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What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?

When my husband spoke to the employees he was not mean about his comment, but firm and to the point.  His speaking up about what they missed out on because of their prejudice gave them a chance to see what they were doing and the consequences of their choices.  I am not sure what else could have been done in order to change the events.  

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

Microaggression  is something that I do not notice too much.  Most the time I am busy ushering my children in and out of stores, church, etc. that I do not have idle conversation.  As I reflected this week, I can recall a few instances of microaggression.  The first instance I can remember, occurred when I was a young child.  I can remember my grandfather’s comments about how girls could not handle tasks meant for boys.  I had no idea what he was even talking about, but I do remember my mother getting pretty upset with him and my father for the comments.  Another instance I can recall happened later in life when my husband and I first began dating.  His parents were very harsh towards my race and would always tell me that I could not understand their ways because I lacked culture.  I was always puzzled by their comments especially since I knew everyone had culture.  I was very hurt by their comments and still hold some resentment towards the negativity they showed me throughout our newlywed years. 

Because of these experiences I have more sensitivity towards others.  It does not feel good when others display microaggression and it makes you second guess yourself when exposed to these types of comments.  This week’s resources in class have given me good resources to justify my feelings about microaggression and to support my strategies for my students to overcome prejudices such as these.    

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

For this blog assignment I interviewed my husband, my mother, and my friend.  Below are two questions that I asked each person and their responses:

Their definition of culture:
                          Husband-A person's way of life
                          Mother-Ethnicity and surroundings in which they are raised 
                          Friend-a person's countries traditional clothing, dances, customs.
Their definition of diversity:
                          Husband-Different backgrounds
                          Mother-Everything that is different or varied
                          Friend-changing or going against the "norm"

We have studied a variety of ways culture can be looked at such as it is related to various subgroups like ethnicity such as my mom mentioned and my friend.  We also studied about how culture is tied to a person's family and surroundings such as mentioned by my husband.  All of the definitions of culture that I received, in some way, can be found in , Diversity in Early Care and Education by Gonzalez-Mena.  I honestly feel that most individuals have some perception of what culture means just may not realize that there is more to the definition.  My mom for example thinks of specific ethnicity groups and their traditions specific to those groups which is common and true.  But culture is more than just ethnicity, it involves economic class, gender, sexual preference, religion, education and more.  

Diversity has one main theme, difference.  When I asked my husband about diversity, he paused and replied, different backgrounds.  My friend referred to the change against what is considered normal.  This idea is mentioned in  Diversity in Early Care and Education by Gonzalez-Mena.  Some see diversity as something possibly going against what they consider normal.  But what is "normal"?  

With both definitions, all my parties did not come up with a "complete" definition.  For example, none of them mentioned gender or religion.  I am not sure I knew a complete definition of culture until I began my studies at Walden University.  My mom and my husband both had trouble even defining either concept because putting it into words is a lot harder than one thinks. 

This exercise has been beneficial to me because it made me realize that I am not the only one who has trouble defining  these concepts and that knowing and understanding these concepts is important for me as an educator so I can bring knowledge to my students as well as know how to best approach the parents.  

References:
 Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2008). Diversity in Early Care and Education (5th ed., pp. 8–13). Boston, MA: McGraw Hill.
Copyright 2008 by McGraw-Hill Education, Inc.. Reprinted by permission of McGraw-Hill Education, Inc. via the Copyright Clearance Center.

My Family Culture

This week's post is something that my husband talks about frequently due the large amount of zombie shows!  I on the other hand do not like to talk about it because it scares me that my children could be in a situation like that.
If a catastrophic event occured and I could only bring three items that represented my family culure, they would be:
      1.  Our family Bible- because it is the word of God our guiding light in which we live by and it has our family tree listed within the pages to show our family heritage.  I would explain that this item is important because it is the only item that contains our only written family history to remember where we came from.
      2.  Our Family photos-because they are our documented memories.  I would explain that these are important to our family because we sit and remember the events that we have done and shared.
      3.  My husband's guitar-this represents our music in our family.  We sing as a family and enjoy music.  It provides a wonderful outlet for us as a family and would be beneficial in a time like this.

If I had to choose only one item once arrived I would be devistated because I had already reduced everything to three items.  On the other hand, I would be thankful to be alive with my children and husband.  I would choose to keep the Bible because it is our guiding principles and documented family heritage.

This exercise has made me reflect on what I consider important and that would best represent us as a family.  Very tough to reduce everything we have to three items, on the other hand, most of what my family is....is literally us.  We represent our family culture and even if we had to leave everything, we would be our examples of our family culture.

My Supports

Support can be seen in different lights.  Sometimes support may come in the fashion of money.  Sometimes support is services for particular area in which you are struggling.  Support can also be the type that is in reassurance and love.  In my life, my family is my support.  My husband and children are my life and everyday they show me support through their love and kindness.  

Recently my 3 year old daughter was diagnosed with Type I diabetes, along with this my husband's job relocated us several states away from all our family. It has been extremely hard juggling all the things you must learn with a child with this chronic illness along with Graduate classes, work, my other 3 children, my husband, a relocation move, homeschooling, etc.  My daughter's nurse in our hometown state has kept in contact with us, supporting us with knowledge and encouragement during this difficult time.  She has been a true support person and truly value her!  Life is hard and sometimes we need help finding our way, those supports that we have in our lives, such as the Diabetic nurse and family help us provide the best care for our daughter and help keep our sanity through this crazy time.  

I have also learned in the past few months what its like to have less support because of our move away from our family.  Supporting my daughter through her ever changing disease is a lot harder when you don't have additional support people there to talk to, to be additional ears during an appointment, to help the other children not be neglected, etc. 

Now, imagine having a physical disability such as paralysis.  You need physical support to get around.  You would need money support to pay for physical support to aid in getting around.  You would need additional people support to mentally get through the changes that you will have to endure.  You would possibly need additional support in getting additional education or employment.  

As a child I felt that I did not need any support, that I could achieve the world without anyone.  As I grew I realized that getting support did not mean that I was not independent.  When my youngest was diagnosed, I truly felt helpless and needed support in so many more ways than I ever thought I would.  I thank God everyday that I realized how to look for support, realize its importance, and accept it.  

My Connections to Play

"Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood, for it alone is the free expression of what is in the child's soul."  Friedrich Froebel

"It is a happy talent to know how to play." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pretend play, dressing in costumes, role playing was one of my favorite child  games to play(Left).

I grew up in a poor environment and had no preschool experiences, so nature was my play and was my teacher(Right).

Puzzles were a favorite activity during Kindergarten.

The support I received when I was a child during play was limited.  I do not remember any teacher interaction or parent interaction.  I do remember centers set up during Kindergarten and having to sign up for centers to make sure that we were not choosing the same center each play time.  The centers were house, giant blocks, kitchen, trains.  I do not recall any others, but do remember loving the blocks because you could build a fort they were so large.   During recess, they children ran around playing on slipper slides, jungle gyms, kickball, etc. 

Today, play in school is more organized with more specific purpose.  I do hope as my children grow that they can experience both worlds.  I never felt as a child pressured during play to "perform", but get the impression that my children do.  At least they did until I chose to home-school due to a relocation.  This opportunity with my children has given me a glimpse into true feelings about everything.  It has been a great experience thus far and has made me a more receptive educator.  

I also think play for adults is good also because sometimes as we grow, we forget how to relax and just enjoy being alive.  This also gives our children the opportunity to see by example.  

Relationship Reflection

Relationships develop anytime there is a connection between two things or people.  These relationships are important because anytime you have to work with another person there has to be some form of a relationship in order to coexist. 

When I was a school age child I struggled with peer relationships and had a low self esteem because I did not understand what was wrong with me.  I did a lot of self reflection as I grew, always asking myself how the other person might be feeling and to respect the other person no matter how “mean” I may think they are.  I also began realizing that I was just fine the way I was and decided to be confident in my actions.   This tactic proved to earn the respect of my peers and in turn I developed many positive relationships.  These actions helped me maintain a friend relationship with my peers without the peer pressure of attending parties and drinking.  When they invited me and I said no, they did not harass me, they simply smiled and said okay.  We were still friends on Monday after the party weekends.  A better example of a positive relationship in my life is my parents.  My parents and I have a common respect for each other in the terms of we are all adults and free to make our own decisions, bonded by love for each other we do listen to each other’s opinions, but respect the other persons ultimate decision.  When we are trying to accomplish a common goal, we respect each other enough to trust and let the person with the most knowledge lead in that situation.  Another positive relationship would be with my best friend.  She is twelve years older than I am and has had different experiences than I, but we both respect each other and are connected by common threads such as her children, God, volleyball, etc.  She does things differently than I do, but we are still bonded by trust and respect.  Lastly, my relationship with my husband is overall a positive one.  Some positive factors that aided in our relationship was remembering to put the other person first.   Again think how the other person feels and respect that.  Another factor is listening to the other person.  We have been married for eleven years and have been through a lot.  Listening is a big thing when it comes to understanding the other person.  Honestly, my husband had to work hard in this department, but because he loves me, he really tried and has come a long way since we were first married in the listening department. 

Challenges in developing relationships that I have experienced is trying to show a respect for someone who you have seen do “bad” things to another person or who speaks badly to another person.  It is very hard for me to “let go” of my negative feelings towards a person like that and to attempt to form a positive relationship.  An example of this for me is my sister.  She is very self absorbed and seems as if she does not care about others when they are in need.   When I stepped back and really watched her, I realized that this is her way of dealing with things she doesn’t know how to deal with.  We still don’t have the best relationship, but we do speak and I keep my negative opinions to myself as she does as well. 

I believe that relationships can develop into partnerships when each person has a shared common link or goal that is important.  Parenting is a partnership because the goal is to protect, guide, and love their children in the best possible way.  Each person has to remember the goal and respect the other’s opinion on how to best accomplish this.  I also think that a teacher, parent, and child is an academic relationship.  This relationship again is to provide the best education to the child, but this partnership in education has to work as a team in order to get across the finish line. 

All these experiences help with teaching.  You need to understand the challenges in order to know how to overcome them.  These relationships that we form with our students and their families are real and ultimately determine how the child will academically develop.